hm.  end of the year.  its been weird.  n idk really.  its just, lately ive been feeling kinda down again.  im not quite sure really.  guess its the holidays.  sometimes i feel alone more than ever.  it kinda also reminds me that im too different from my family.  i am the black sheep so to say.  even among my friends sometimes i feel out of place still.

been having trouble sleeping.  idk what it is this time.  i end up waking up a few times in the night.   it kinda started around the time i had this one dream, and i think it woke me up from it.  it was a dream i didnt want to have really.  it was a very vivid dream of something that happened a while ago.  of the topic i dont really want to think of.  it was almost like i re-lived that moment.  i still think im a loser sometimes...

i also broke my car recently.  i was driving home from work, then all of a sudden my car wasnt driving well and made a weird noise.  i pulled over and my tired was lodged forward.  i broke something where the tire connected to the axle i believe.  too much strain and it was kind of rusted.  i felt like it was my fault.  

eh, hasnt been a great last couple weeks of the new year.  Hope everyone has a good one.

hm.  been a while since the last blog.  august, and its already december.  holy crap its december.  year is almost over.

ive always been meaning to update.  ive had a couple things written up, i just dont finish them.  for some reason, i just want to keep things to myself even more.  though it doesnt really matter, coz theres not many people that would read this.

so, i thought i wrote this before, but i guess i did and never posted it.  heh.  first and for most, about sponge cola's new album. last time i wrote is when they had the extended playlist.  the new album has a few songs from it, but there a lot of new songs i like too.  theres kay tagal kitang hinintay, she wants you to, scenic view, new steel, while still having tambay, regal and stargazer.  the other songs are good too, those are just the ones i like to put on repeat.

and the former drummer for sponge cola who left because of health condition came back onto the music scene.  hes doing a solo act, cause he didnt want to mess with the way sponge cola is now.  his main single is good.  i like it, i havent heard the rest of his album tho.  its call heartbeat by chris cantada.

so this board game ive been playing, im pretty much hooked on it.  its called dominion.  its a deck building game where you have cards that do stuff, under a certain set of rules, and u try to obtain victory cards.  its fun because theres a lot of sets, and a lot of different cards.  i almost have all the sets.  me and my friends basically play it a lot.

i finally got myself an iPhone!  oh yeah.  lol.  i still had that basic phone for forever yo.  which is kinda weird, coz everyone always tells me im the one they expected to at least already have some sort of smart phone.  its pretty handy to have.  lol.

i dislike when i see people i used to know.  they always ask they same questions, no matter who it is.  didnt matter too much last year, but i work more so its more likely.

things go through my head, but its whatevs really.

as usual, how ive been kinda fluctuates.  sometimes i feel like fine, others i feel worse than ever.  kind of used to it by now.

regal.

sponge cola recently released their video for "regal" off their tambay EP(extended playlist).  at first it was only out for a day before it was voted on the countdown in the philippines.  now i think its gonna stay out.  i liked the EP a lot.  though i am wondering when a full album will be released.  i hope they do a video for stargazer.  it could be really well done.

lately ive still been feeling kinda down.  still having sleeping problems.  got even worse when one night i had this one dream, n it just reminded me of things that just made me feel so bad, like im such a loser.  from then on out ive been waking up every hour or so when i sleep.  and a dream like that happened again recently.  it just sucks.  normally i dont have those kinda dreams a lot.  i dont like it.  

so my schedule has pretty much been work and play ultimate frisbee.  lol.  its been harder to get some people now.  too many people live in different locations, and people have been going on vacations and such.  and since we have a varying skill level, its tough to get balanced games.  its not like the pick up games where anyone steps in and the level of play is the same.  its a different type of casual.  coz ive had casual games that played at a higher level because everyone knew how to.  ive been experimenting with actually doing most my throws instead of relying on one.  i decided to try to throw the forehand more.  and its kinda fun. lol.  it actually makes me wanna work on the backhand huck, coz i realized some things when doing a half field forehand huck.  i also developed a quick catch and throw flick when i was bored.  pretty much as soon as i catch it i launch it.  it is unfortunately better than my normal flick.  

i wish i could dance well.  idk.  just not good.  when i randomly dance at work, i always think everyone thinks im just a fool who thinks he can dance and is no good.

i thought i had more to write. but idk.  i guess this feeling is making me write less.